The pose I hate is shoulder stand... I even said that phrase in yoga class and wow was it potent. It left an imprint that is inspiring me to reflect right now.
I know "hate" is such a harsh word, but haven't we all been there. The word wouldn't exist if it isn't a legitimate experience we needed to define at some point. Some where in my life someone told me that "hate" was a strong word and so I have tried not to use it since. Though I still feel strong enough about something to use it. Then I try to choose a different phrase such as "dislike"... regardless this exists and so my question or realization is what am I going to do now?
Pouting, complaining and bitching don't really make good use of energy so then I try to fix myself. Fix it, solve it or just push it aside.... still none of these really address the situation. I could quit yoga, something I love and never have to do another shoulder stand in my life. I guess I am as stubborn about the things I love as I am about the things I don't love. Shoulder stand is just apart of yoga and for good reason.
A student posed the challenge in a not so obvious way for me to teach shoulder stand more often. With my over achieving style I decided to give myself the strict challenge of teaching shoulder stand in every active class that I would teach this month. Today was the last class of the month and have achieved this little goal.
It's usually right at the very end that I get it and it all becomes clear. Shoulder stand is so beautiful! Some people light up in the posture, some act like kids, some grunt and moan (like me) and some don't think anything of it. As a yoga teacher I realized that even though the posture may not be one that I enjoy it's usually has just as much if not more to teach me.
I realized that all of the things that I label with are only temporarily that, only as temporary as I say they are. It's like approaching a curious person from across the room. You see the person, so you trust your intuition to go over and say "hi." You may not know what to say, you may even have a history with that person which makes it even harder to approach them. But then you decide to do it, letting go of all of your worries and allowing the curiousity to carry you across the floor and to them. Once you are face to face, and you have had a few words of introduction a lot of the nerves, anomocity and unknowing have subsided and your able to simply be with one another.
After a month of being with shoulder stand, teaching it and exploring it as excercise of promise and potential I have grown to love shoulder stand as a being. A guru who has taught me, to never say never, unless I really me maybe and then I should really say what I mean... "I am looking forward to making your acquaintance."
To my friend who gives me piercingly honest feedback you are such a treasure to me and I am grateful that we can be teachers for one another. Thanks for all that you do and all that you are.
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