How do you know...

How do you know it's the highest?

I will keep you posted... still contemplating and not sure I have the highest on this yet...

Pay it forward...

The gratitude that touches me the most is when I see people paying it forward. I guess I don't often see people paying it forward I see more kids paying it forward and I think they have something there. Paying it forward means you repay someone with a gift to another or by demonstrating the gift that was given to you.

After contemplating all of the possibilities of gratitude this has to be the highest! It's not easy and makes you really contemplate the gifts you were given.

Forgiveness

Finally it has sunk in...

John Friend put it this way... It is not the person, thing, or situation that is suffering from your grudge or unforgiving state its you. Why wouldn't I want to stop suffering. Suffering is optional. So then how do I do this because it seems like an impossible task and I am mostly dealing with people who have

betrayed me. How could someone ever forgive someone for killing someone they love? Sounds impossible till John reminds us that we are all connected in this web of life and that would make us all brothers and sisters and when we look at the bigger picture two leaves fighting on the same tree doesn't quiet make much sense. Though when we get close into the details of the situation it seems nearly impossible to even be in the same space.

Looking at the differences, issues, recycling the traumas and seeing nothing but hate makes my nervous system fire and YES, I am totally suffering because of my finite vision of the situation. But it is so hard to keep the bigger vision when looking at someone or something that triggers you, the difference tends to be stronger.

John suggested we start basic and easy... see something anything that is good about the situation or person. When you really look at any person, at their core there is some spark of goodness. It might be clouded but again its just us not being able to see the beauty, goodness and auspicious that is in everything.

Once you a

re able to see one good thing... its contagious. Then you begin to open up even more and see even more goodness. Holding this kind of vision you are able to loosen your grip on that person or situation and the past and fully embrace the present. What a gift it is....

The highest teaching that I learned from this was that I really had no idea how much love and beauty was present right now right here because until I let it go I was so full of hold onto the past. Emptied by forgiveness I am filled with the love that is already present.

This experience unveils the mysterious purna that with relative terms sounds like a crazy scientist trying to explain quantum physics. However, the experience of this attribute of the absolute is very valid and profound. Perhaps that is the only way we can truly understand the absolute is experiencing it by taping into the deepest goodness that runs through us all.

YES woMAN!

When the world gives you "no" as the answer perhaps give the universe more "yes" and you can shift the paradigm. As I write this entry from a hotel room stranded in LA for an entire day, I am left to reflect on "what is the highest teaching?" of this experience. I feel that because I was faced with a BIG "no" not allowing me to make my flight I responded with "yes." Yes to staying in a smoking room, that I would never do typically. Yes to meal vouchers to restaurants that would not be my first choice in food. Yes to a brand new schedule and optimism in a less than likely situation. Yes to no access to my luggage and making do with the clothes on my back and my work backpack.

Oddly enough the movie "Yes Man" comes on while I am stuck in the hotel room. My situation allowed me to see it in a different light. Perhaps the attitude of YES no matter what, will prevail any NO. Boundaries are necessary but being the flow with nature is about saying YES! I can tell these teachings that John Friend has offered in practice have paid off. When I was told there is no possibility of getting where I wanted today... I chuckled and said YES to what is next. I felt like I was on adventure and a new obstacle course of opportunities.

We even hold our posture differently when thinking NO and thinking YES! Yes, feels much more lively and open so I stand with a big proud YES to everything and look forward to the adventures of NO that most likely will come my way one way or another.

Posture's we love and hate...

The pose I hate is shoulder stand... I even said that phrase in yoga class and wow was it potent. It left an imprint that is inspiring me to reflect right now.

I know "hate" is such a harsh word, but haven't we all been there. The word wouldn't exist if it isn't a legitimate experience we needed to define at some point. Some where in my life someone told me that "hate" was a strong word and so I have tried not to use it since. Though I still feel strong enough about something to use it. Then I try to choose a different phrase such as "dislike"... regardless this exists and so my question or realization is what am I going to do now?

Pouting, complaining and bitching don't really make good use of energy so then I try to fix myself. Fix it, solve it or just push it aside.... still none of these really address the situation. I could quit yoga, something I love and never have to do another shoulder stand in my life. I guess I am as stubborn about the things I love as I am about the things I don't love. Shoulder stand is just apart of yoga and for good reason.

A student posed the challenge in a not so obvious way for me to teach shoulder stand more often. With my over achieving style I decided to give myself the strict challenge of teaching shoulder stand in every active class that I would teach this month. Today was the last class of the month and have achieved this little goal.

It's usually right at the very end that I get it and it all becomes clear. Shoulder stand is so beautiful! Some people light up in the posture, some act like kids, some grunt and moan (like me) and some don't think anything of it. As a yoga teacher I realized that even though the posture may not be one that I enjoy it's usually has just as much if not more to teach me.

I realized that all of the things that I label with are only temporarily that, only as temporary as I say they are. It's like approaching a curious person from across the room. You see the person, so you trust your intuition to go over and say "hi." You may not know what to say, you may even have a history with that person which makes it even harder to approach them. But then you decide to do it, letting go of all of your worries and allowing the curiousity to carry you across the floor and to them. Once you are face to face, and you have had a few words of introduction a lot of the nerves, anomocity and unknowing have subsided and your able to simply be with one another.

After a month of being with shoulder stand, teaching it and exploring it as excercise of promise and potential I have grown to love shoulder stand as a being. A guru who has taught me, to never say never, unless I really me maybe and then I should really say what I mean... "I am looking forward to making your acquaintance."

To my friend who gives me piercingly honest feedback you are such a treasure to me and I am grateful that we can be teachers for one another. Thanks for all that you do and all that you are.

Blessings

I open myself up to the unbound possibilities in this time in my life. To seek the truth and the highest in every situation. I burrow into my heart each moment to seek this and from that place offer out what I have discovered as the highest and what would make my teachers proud of me.

I only hope this makes me a better teacher for others and that I can up hold my end of this love my teachers have given me and trusting me with their highest teachings. I feel utterly responsible an vulnerable since it means that much to me that someone believes in me. I only feel it is right to repay or rather pay it forward.